I often hear from people that their friends and loved ones think they are secretive, and that they simply cannot identify with this observation. I’ve come to understand that for so many of us, it’s more about not being listened to, than being secretive. In truth, most of us long for the opportunity to share our ups and downs, the near misses, triumphs and sorrows.
To feel into our emotions and unpack our thoughts, we need a soft place to land—a safe space where we can speak aloud our experiences with life. Where we are in the grace of another who has the ability and the willingness to simply listen and hold that soft, safe space. For it is here, in the silence of the pause, where our thoughts take form and where we muster the courage to embrace our vulnerabilities, knowing that we will land in the arms of presence.
The next time a loved one or friend enters into conversation with you, try holding a soft space for them. Be present. Be curious and look for reasons to listen, instead of interrupting and making the conversation about you. Breathe. Practice offering a few moments of your time, to make room for another to express life how they see it. How they feel it. To share a bit of themselves.